Truth: The economy is kind of a shit.
Truth: There are lots of people out there who don't have jobs.
Truth: I am grateful to have a job with benefits.
In truth, I am grateful to have a job. I'm just not the happiest with it. Granted there are things about it that work my nerves, but in general, I like my co-workers, especially since a certain someone left a few months ago. However, I am just goddamn unhappy there. I wanted this job to learn more about the hospitality/event planning industry and everyone said that getting into a hotel is the best way to go. Here's my problem (and I occasionally feel like a jerkbag for feeling this way, but then I get over it): I'm intelligent. I'm well educated. I've supervised a staff of 20. I'm creative. I like to think about things. I always want to learn more. I work quickly and efficiently. I currently order office supplies. And answer phones. And purge files that are almost as old as I am. I make signs from a template. People throw a stack of piddly bullshit busy work in my inbox and I'm done with it in a half hour. I'm not learning anything.
See the disconnect? So yes, I am grateful to have a job, but I need more. I know there are some people out there who would be ecstatic to have a job that allows them to sit at a desk for 8 hours a day, lunch included, and have some pretty easy responsibilities. That's just not for me. I've asked for more responsibility. I've asked for projects, but there's nowhere for me to go, nothing for me to aspire to, no opportunity for upward movement.
No, I'm not going to shoot myself in the foot like I did the last time and leave without another job on the horizon. But I've been sort of looking, which is turning into looking in earnest, because I'm having a hell of a time staying pleasant. If you know me at all, you know that my body language SCREAMS everything I'm feeling. I know that I look bored. Posture is terrible, sloopy droopy face, you know the drill. I'm sure that part of this has to do with my usual (self-diagnosed) SAD, compounded by the fact that my office is windowless and never at a moderate temperature.
Until I've got something new in the works, I have to keep myself entertained in other ways...which, starting next Monday, will include pole dance classes!! So, I might be slogging along in soul crushing drudgery for 8 hours a day, but dammit, I'm gonna have legit Xena Warrior Princess arms and abs!