Bang Bang

I like to think of myself as a classy lady. I have red fingernails. I like to wear high heels. I drink martinis. My coat has a big, flouncy ruffle on the bottom. Classy broad, right here!

But oddly enough, one of my favorite forms of entertainment is loud, fast paced, usually involves sexy men and is best experienced with other people.

So today, dear hearts, I'm thankful for action movies! You don't have to think too much, there's always something to keep your attention, they're often pretty irreverent and raunchy as hell and it's so easy to just sit back and enjoy. I think a big part of the reason I love them so much is because of Gary. I know that he LOVED kung fu movies and pretty much anything with fast cars and good shoot-em-up scenes. I remember always sitting in the back room and cranking up the volume and watching Terminator or sitting in the living room watching Kill Bill or the fight scene between the Hulk and Loki in the Avengers. And there was always something a little magical about going to see an awesome action flick at the theater and feeling the sense of camaraderie when the entire room cheers after the bad guy get spanked and sent to bed with no dinner!

Another reason I love these movies is because the women are almost always bad asses (I mean, have you seen Linda Hamilton do her gimpy legged, one armed shotgun cock and shoot in Terminator 2?!? My absolute favorite favorite FAVORITE example of badassery.) Of course you'll have your occasional damsel in distress, but far more often, you'll have Michelle Pfeiffer in Batman Returns, Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider, Rachel Weisz in The Mummy Returns, Uma, Vivica, Lucy and Daryl in Kill Bill, Helen Mirren in RED and you get the picture. Then you have the late blooming badasses, who start out damselly, but then get their shit together. Perfect example? Jamie Lee Curtis in True Lies. The stripping scene in the hotel is both epic and beyond ridiculous. In short, the ladies in these movies just GSD (get shit done) all day long.

Huh. That was weird. Pretty sure my inner feminist just came out to say hello ;-)

Anyway, there's just something kinda sexy about the action flicks, even the ones that have an actor playing the same role over and over again, because that's pretty much all he can do. Jason Statham, I'm talking about you. All you can do is drive cars fast and punch/roundhouse kick things. But you look delish while you do it, so I'm okay with that.

What are some good ones to add to our collection?

We Do Have Kids. They Just Happen to Have 8 Legs Between the Two of Them...

I've never been an animal person. Danny, however, is the damn dog/cat/rabbit/duck/what-have-you whisperer. When I was growing up, we had one dog. That dog, Lui, died when I was 19, and within a year, we had 2 dogs and a cat. I don't even know how that happened. But I was in college when this all went down and the only other significant amount of time I spent with the pets was when I moved back home for a year after college. Even then, I lived in the basement and they never went down there. The first time that Danny and I lived together, we had 2 cats, which was a huge mess, as a) I'm allergic to cats, and b) they were some crotchety old critters, one of whom scratched my face up and puked in my purse. So, there was no love lost there either.

I remained petless and dog hair free for several more years until I moved back to Ohio Danny. By that time, Danny had a dog and 2 cats, but I was living on campus, so it didn't matter. During the 2 years that I lived on campus, we went from having 1 dog and 2 cats to 2 dogs and no cats (We totes did a pet trade. I couldn't live with the cats and Danny had a friend who was moving and couldn't take her dog to her new place. Win win for everyone!).

So, today I'm thankful for our pups. I know that we have definitely had our ups and downs (You remember Dog-Mageddon, right?), but I do love them. Like, a lot. I'm not really big on clingy neediness, which is a big part of the reason why I don't have kids, and these pups are 70 pound lap dogs and all they want to do is snug all up on you. I also hate dog hair all over the house. But these two are big ole luvbugs.

I take care of them when they're sick. I give them super belly rubs. I throw Lola's ball over and over and over. And over. I feel terrible that I'm not as physically affectionate to them as they want to be to me, but I am so thankful that they love me, no matter what. When I'm sad or don't feel well, they just lay with me. When I'm at the house by myself, at least one of them will follow me from room to room, so that I'm not alone. They protect me from the vacuum cleaner monster (which can get really annoying when I'm trying to clean the house, but I know that it's coming from a place of love.) They eat the tops from my carrots when I'm making juice. Any stray ice cubes that fall out of the freezer? Instantly taken care of by the pups!

So, Bozz and Lola, I <3 yous guys. You still can't lay on my feet, and stop stealing my damn blankets at night! But thank you for protecting me and loving me. Your cold nose nuzzles are much appreciated!

See? Lapdog!

3 of my favorite critters all snugged up.

Look at those puddums!

Damn You, Dick Wolf!

Quick! What's the best way to kill a few hours time? Best background noise while you're folding laundry? The thing you can find on tv, pretty much any day, any time? That's right!! Law & Order! Now, I'm not a huge fan of the whole franchise, but there's really only one that matters, right? SVU, duh! Which is what I'm thankful for today.

Have you ever noticed that the only time a single episode comes on is during the prime time slot when new shows come on? Any other time is a whole marathon. This is what happens...Saturday afternoon, you haven't gotten up and showered and started your day yet. You're just flipping channels until it's time to get going. Oooh, look! Law & Order: SVU is on! I haven't seen this one. Let me just watch for a few minutes, then I'll jump in the shower...8 hours later, you're sitting in a cloud of your own funk, glassy eyed, hungry and wondering why it's dark outside. Oh, wait. That's just me?

Do you also notice that no matter how many episodes you get sucked into watching, whenever there's a marathon on, you are almost guaranteed to have never seen 80% of the shows? How is that even mathematically possible?!? I think that I've seen at least 300 hours of SVU through the course of my life, but I never feel like "Oh, I've seen this one. The neighbor did it. I don't need to watch it." And without fail, Every. Single. Time. we watch an episode, Danny exclaims, "Damn you, Dick Wolf!" because that sumbitch always leaves you hanging!

The next reason I'm thankful for Law & Order SVU needs very few words...Christopher Meloni. Stone cold, stereophonic FOX! Nuff said.

Point 4...You can always, ALWAYS tell what season they're in just by Mariska Hargitay's hair and makeup choices. The pixie in later seasons was a good look for her. The early dark hair and lipstick combo? Not so much.

Season 1. Dark hair and lipstick. Yeesh!

Season 9. Much better...

Tamara Tunie, I want your hair. Not in a creepy "It puts the lotion on or it gets the hose again" skin suit kind of way, but I really want for my hair to grow into those glorious curls!

As a final parting gift, I saw this on TV today and needed to share it with you lovelies. Go ahead and skip to 2:00. You can thank me later...

Tasty Num Nums

My dinner tonight was smorgasbord of weirdy mcgee stuff...Campbell's Chunky tomato soup with pasta, a delicious dark stout beer, a chunk of bleu cheese and two poptarts. I know what you're thinking: "Wow, that girl is a food con-o-soor!" And you sir or ma'am would be correct.

I mean, I'm not really a connoisseur in the traditional sense of the word, but I do like to eat. And I really like to discover new flavors and how they interact with each other. So today, I'm thankful for those little papillary (btw, the term papillary means "a small, nipplelike projection. Tee-hee...nipplelike projection!) marvels called taste buds. I'm not gonna pretend to get all scientifical and whatnot, because I'd have to wiki the eff out of how taste buds work. I'm not gonna lie, though. I did google this subject just now, but all I saw were big words, taste descriptors and medulla oblongata. Whenever medulla oblongata comes up in conversation it just makes me think of Water Boy and then I can't take it seriously anymore.

But that's neither here nor there. Have you taken a bite of something and had it bring back a great memory? Or taken a taste of something, a bite of something else, and had your whole mouth experience completely change? That happened today with my bleu cheese and beer, and it just made me smile. Sip of beer, bitter. Bite of cheese. Another sip of beer, nutty and a little sweet. Mouth Magic. Boom.

To me, that's one of the greatest joys of eating. Finding tastes and smells and textures and learning how they interact with each other. Wheat Thins and Nutella are an amazing combination. Pretty much any cheese (Except for Gruyere. That shit smells like feet and chocolate when it's melted. I'm sure it tastes good, but I can't get past the smell. See, it all comes full circle...) and pretty much any fruit will take you far in life. What are some of your favorite food/drink combinations?

A Whole New Woooooorld...

You know how sometimes you just have to go a little crazy? Let your hair down and sing it out?

I did that on my way home from, which is why today, I am thankful for the relative anonymity of my car and here are the top 5 reasons why:

• I love being able to belt out songs and know that no one is judging my scratchy, cough-ravaged voice. 
• Sometimes my inner thug just needs to be let out. I'm sure I would have frightened many a little old lady had they heard my charming rendition of "Murder Was The Case." 
•  I curse like a sailor when people cut me off or lurk in either the damn merge or pass lane without paying attention to the fact that people are trying to, I don't know, merge or pass! (EARMUFFS or EYEMUFFS, since you can't really hear me saying this: Some of my favorites are "dick biscuit," "fucking cuntbag,""asswagon," and "pretty pretty princess!" That last one's not really true, but I didn't want you to think that I'm a completely terrible person.) It's really good that the other drivers can't hear me. 
• Showtunes and Disney songs? Turn them shits up all day long!
• I have personal dance parties in my car. I guess that part's not as anonymous because others can see me. But it's really fun to get all the way down to funky town, knowing that the driver next to you is surreptitiously watching you, and then look directly at them and make eye contact, like "I know you're watching me, and now you know I know. How uncomfortable are you, car voyeur?!?" 

Weird Girl Alone

I can be awkward. I'm okay with it. I'm strange and I like it. As I write this, I'm having a wild west showdown with the dog and a rolled up piece of paper because he thinks it's appropriate to be on the uncovered part of the couch. I think he needs to be on his section that's covered with a sheet. Danny is sitting between us doing the showdown sound: "Oooweeoooweeoooooo, waaa waa waaaaaa....." We're an odd little family. And it is good.

So today, I'm thankful for the folks in my life who love me for my weird awkwardness, and embrace their own. I like having folks around who don't bat an eyelash when I burst into spontaneous, made-up song. Friends who will jump up and dance like silly fools with me as I make up a very thigh-intensive routine. Ones who understand my phobia of hospitals and point out that I'm getting all tense and squidgy when I don't realize it. People who don't tease me (too much) about my love of 1980s Schwarzenegger movies. Family members who also appreciate warm snuggly clothing-ish choices, such as the footie onsie and Superman snuggies.

Thanks for not letting me be a weird girl alone ;-)

It's Gonna Be Me!

First of all, happy Veteran's Day, and a huge thank you to the men and women in our armed forces who risk their lives and sacrifice time with their loved ones on a daily basis.

Another thing I'm thankful for today is alone time. Since Danny had to work, I've been by myself for the most part, all weekend, with the exception of my class. And I'm okay with that. I've breakfasted, lunched and dinnered alone. In public. Gasp! (really, I'm totes good with that. I do it pretty regularly because a) I'm not self-conscious about it and b) by the time I'm ready to eat, I don't want to futz around trying to get someone to go with me. I'm most likely a hungry, cranky monster by that point.)

I was able to eat cereal for dinner today and not get teased because of my frosted mini wheats/granola/pecan/flax seed mix. I eat grandma cereal...don't hate on my colon healthy choices!

I've had a chance to catch up on my stories. Granted, some of these shows are over a month old, so I still have dumb ass campaign commercials, but at least I can fast forward them :-)

So, it's been a good weekend and I'm thankful for the opportunity to have some me time, but everything in moderation, no?